Well it's that's the test then everyone should just fake a stutter and get the break. On a side note, im sorry if im prying and if you want me to shut up i'll be more than happy to oblige, but it sounds like youre struggling a lot with confronting and facing/accepting your stutter. I'm sure you've had speech therapy in the past and it's likely been useless, but I really recommend you find someone to talk with about this if you haven't already. It is difficult to find a qualified SLP who gets it, but it cant be as difficult as working your life a stutter. Just an unsolicited thought.