The opposite of joy is comparison. This is something we all do and it's poisonous to everyone but when a person who stutters does it with verbal communication, it is a 100% losing battle. There's no way to feel good about yourself after if that's what you are striving for. 2 things here 1. You are putting fluency up on a pedestal 2. You forget how great you actually are. People who stutter often believe that "if they were fluent, then they would be enough.. then people would like them, would listen to them". But that's just so untrue. It's how you feel about yourself and how you feel about your stutter. That dictates people's interest to be around you/hear from you. You can still be an excellent, interesting communicator even while stuttering if you are confident about it. And man you're an amazing human being. I don't know you but I know you have so much to give, so much to share, so much value to offer people around you. Just from showing up and being you. Don't let stuttering make you forget that.