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What is the next step? I'm almost 23(F). I come from a broken home,with 4 kids. My parents broke up when I was 6,dad moved out and left the country when I was 10,but they officially divorced when I was 18. My dad systematically cheated on my mom, was always absent and caused a lot of drama. My mom I feel like was and still is depressed and miserable and has a severe internet addiction,since I was 10. I don't have a good relationship with my siblings. There's a lot of selfisness involved, everyone seems to only care about themselves and don't give a shit about the other person. We arent close. Everyone's been dealing with their own trauma I assume. I want to leave my famiy behind, and star over. The problem is, I have a stutter, and it makes me shy, and introverted, and self conscious and I end up isolating myself. I might actually be slightly depressed, and I havent had friends for like 5 years now. The scary thing is, I'm actually feeling content and comfortable in my loneliness. I just know that a life shared with others is much more fun. I've never been hopeless in the sense of wanting to absolutely have friends and fit in, peer pressure etc, I always did my own thing. But I'm realising that maybe thats all a copying mechanism since in reality I'm terrified of rejection. The fact that I don't have friends makes me believe that everything my family says about me is true, that I'm a terrible person, that noone would like to be around me, that I'm unworthy of love. As much as I try to fight these thoughts, I struggle to let them go and connect with other people. It's just this narrative in my head, that I'm such a bad person noone is ever going to love me, and if my family didn't what makes me feel like strangers will? I'm afraid i'll become cold stone hearted,asocial, bitter and miserable as time goes by. And I don't want this to happen. ​