Hello, you just made me smile. I think that's the first I have smiled ever since. This is all it takes, to comfort someone. I can't believe you wrote such lengthy replies. I can't explain how much it means to me, I wish I could show you. I wish you were my parent or sibling that is next to me. I would do anything to have someone like you by my side. Otherwise I feels like a bad fate/nightmare. Before I write more, you should not simply feel obligated to listen to me and respond. I you need help with anything always let me know and I'll try my best. I am waiting to explain what I write here to a trauma therapist and doctors and my sister. Not so much mother, they seem to ignore it. I came to the realization that some humans are very...I am not sure about the right word but tend to ignore mental health problems severely. Before: 06/06/24 This is going to be super lengthy so I believe I will use voice memo for it. Everything is strange the events leading up to it, as if it was predetermined. I have many--I think it is best for me to try my best and write it down so hopefully things don't get skipped. And right my stutter makes my brain tired when I talk a lot, I gives a lot of effort to get out sentences.