I’m so sorry you are going through this. I had just as much of a hard time in high school. In fact I still have vivid dreams about embarrassing presentations and getting called on to read and barely being able to get a sentence out and even though I’m dreaming I feel everything I felt in those moments. It made me wanna disappear and I’m 22 still dealing with those feelings and that mindset. It’s so hard. You are allowed to take up space and you don’t have to feel so ashamed of yourself although I do understand. You can’t help it and it’s sucks people don’t understand and will judge you for it but it is what it is. All those people that judge will never understand and never know how horrible it feels to not be able to do what almost ever human being can, speak freely