No? you’re right. You may stutter your entire life. But i have a lot of relatives who are adult stutterers and some of them have pretty severe stutters so there are tools and strategies for dealing with those challenges. Their lives are happy and full and they have friends and hobbies and jobs. Right now, though, you need help with feelings of worthlessness and anxiety and thoughts of suicide. I wish you the best of luck, I’m thinking of you and I’m rooting for you.