Content
Need some help Sorry in advance for the long read. ​ Hello, first time posting here, I am from Sydney Australia and a have a mild stutter, I was just wondering how I would approach my problem. A bit about myself, 19 year old studying Software Engineering at a top university in Australia. Recently got landed an internship at a Big 4 Professional Services company for tech (Not bragging but there is context here) **My Problems (YOU CAN SKIP THIS IF YOU ARE NOT BOTHERED READING)** \- I stutter, on the spot, so when going to the cashier asking for change, asking for directions, basically anything that has to do with me asking for something. \- Whenever this happens, i get a wave of anxiety, heart starts to beat faster, I stutter on the core words, so if I wanted to say "Do you know where to meat pie is" I will stutter on the word "meat pie". **I don't avoid situations per say, but if I get lost, i will try to use my phone for directions, then as a last resort ask someone.** \- After I block anywhere between half a second to 5 seconds, I feel really bad, my chest freezes, my throat feels tight, I lose eye contact. \- Confidence, isn't that much of an issue when i am around with close friends. Even with strangers it can be bad, first 10-20 minutes, but usually subsides, stuttering isnt that noticeable or atleast I'd like to think so noticeable. \- I don't stutter when i am alone, when im talking to my younger brothers aged 3,5,4, in general I stutter much less around children than i do with adults, I stutter little around people my age. I feel like I stutter much less with people younger than me. I don't stutter talking to pets, or reading out loud. If someone was in the room, and I was not directly talking to them I won't stutter, however I will stutter if there is eye contact. \- I suspect my dad has a stutter, however it is extremely extremely hard to tell, as in it only shows when he is angry. \- I suspect my uncle also had a stutter, once again very extremely hard to tell, he ran for election in his province. \- Ive noticed, i stutter less when people speak to me, then when i speak to them, so if someone was on the street randomly asks me, where the nearest petrol station is, I won't have any problems at all. **Now I was meaning to ask, how much does anxiety play, a part. Recently I did my rounds of interviews at professional services firm, I noticed I was confident, said my name without a problem, did the interview stuttered very minimally, I was calm, didn't have a problem. My main problem has always been asking people for stuff, I get the anxiety, the increased heart rate, honestly horrible stuff. Secondly, I admit I am afraid of desensitization, I think desensitization is the route for me, the anxiety sucks more than the stutter, the tight chest, the blocked feeling of the throat. How can I desensitize myself, like some of you have done in this thread.**