I really appreciate what you’re going through. With the job interviews, I think in a way by cancelling them, you’re rejecting them straight away. So I don’t think it’s a matter of being afraid of rejection, I think it’s more about getting your hopes up and it not working out. And I totally appreciate that, but you’ll never know if you don’t attend the interviews! I genuinely think that my job interviews I have been my most genuine self in there, because I disclose it straight away and I have no pressure in any expectations that I think they have of me. So I really encourage just keep going with it all. I also work in a field where I communicate a lot (talking therapies!) but I think it increases my authenticity as a practitioner. If you’re speaking with someone who is struggling, who better to speak to that someone who knows what it’s like to struggle on a daily basis? It’s a curse but also a blessing depending on how you look it’ll at it. Why not looking into speech therapy again? I used to think because I had it twice and it didn’t work then what’s the point in trying it again, but my third time is the best I’ve been because I’ve matured and I know a lot more about myself than I did before. A specific tip is trying to speak slower and more “considered.” Its tough but I try to prime myself by writing little notes on my walls/phone to remind myself to speak slower. Good luck with everything! :)