Being 'smart' with stutter is really exhausting

Being 'smart' with stutter is really exhausting Hello. I'm 27. A woman. And pardon if there's grammar error because english is not my first language. I'm beginning to stutter since 4th grade. I can't deny that it also due to my dad's way of educating me (he often talk loudly and made me shocked, etc) thus leading to anxiety problems. I never had a speech therapy, because it's not common in the country I live in. But actually I just stutter mainly if I have to do presentation or talking to wide range of people. In normal conversation I speak fluently, so I don't have trouble of making friends. Going to university, I choose aerospace engineering. Because I was good at math, physics, etc I was the only woman who got best graduate in that year. However, in thesis defense, I practice and practice relentlessly thus it goes very smoothly I sometimes shocked that it went that way. Entering work life. I was an application engineer. A lot of presentation to do, mostly sales. I also had to give training to customers (sometimes it up to 20 ppl in class). I was struggling at first but in the mean time, I can do my job mainly smoothly. Sometimes I stutter, yes, my colleagues realized that. But then I realized it only happened if I don't have enough sleep. Thus I just had to maintain my sleeping pattern. OK. After some time, I thought my job was not challenging enough for me. I want to do research type job like creating or developing something. It doesn't available in my country, because yeah.. according to IMF or something is still categorized as 'developing'. So I start to search scholarship opportunity on 'developed' country. I did an interview with some professor, and because englizh is not my first language, I stuttered severly. But then, shockingly, I was accepted. Then start the journey of my postgraduate in another country. The thing is, my professor gave too much work for me. I start to losing sleep, thus I because talking in english, whenever I have a presentation at seminar, I stuttered. There's some moments when I talk fluently though, maybe just 40%. And tomorrow is my thesis defense. I just had a bad argument with my professor due to my research. I think for this 2 years, all he did is to push me on the edge, making me more stressed thus my stutter happened again. Actually I don't know what it's going to be tomorrow...... I'm still so stressed due to sleep deprivation I had these past two weeks. The problem is I have signed the contract to continue into PhD. The research is a PhD level topic already. I think I've found something promising in this step, but my professor always think it's not enough. Maybe I just have to find another way to be free of him. I don't know. Sometimes, I wish my brain doesn't have the ability like this so I can be a normal person, doing some menial jobs, maybe just marry a guy and become a housewife so I don't have to do presentations again. But then my mind always crave something more... I'm sorry if this is too long and not really understandable. I just want fo find a place to rant all of my stuttering problems since I cannot do it on my social media because I'm too embarrassed for it.. Thank you. Tl:dr: will be doing Master thesis defense, going to PhD degree, all sponsored by scholarship, but has to do a lot of presentations, and frustrated because of the stutter.