postr/StutterJanuary 19, 2022

I hate my stutter no matter how many people say I should like it.

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Content

I hate my stutter no matter how many people say I should like it. I'm being honest here, I just hate my stutter with a burning passion and always will. I'm almost 16 years old, currently 15. I gained my stutter genetically from my father, who had one as a child (and still slightly does). My stutter genuinely annoys me. When I was younger, I did not mind it and I remember how my speech therapy always said that I'm a role model to other kids who suffer the same as me. However, I don't think I'm the same anymore. It just feels so embarrassing when I'm in school, and yes, I know people have to respect the fact that I have this speech impediment, but I just feel that I'm wasting others' time. I have to make my classmates, my family and normal, everyday people wait for me to even complete a sentence, even though they entirely respect me. I feel extremely different, and I know I am! I'm just genuinely losing hope in myself, this disability just makes me feel semi-depressed often and I just wish I never had it. Of course, I'm not as wise as other stutterers who now have excellent careers or a family, but I just feel worthless. I don't know how to properly explain it without continuing to repeat myself, but I just hate that I have my stutter, I hate the fact it makes me different.

Themes

Causes & VariabilityEmotional ExperienceIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Genetic & Family FactorsShame & EmbarrassmentSadness & HopelessnessStigma & Bullying