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I don't even know Sorry if it's a bit rambly, I just need somewhere to get this out. I'm 22 and have been stuttering for as long as I can remember. today was the first day I REALLY broke down because of it after a my mum calling it "interesting" while texting. So many times have I been destroyed by social interactions with strangers, friends, dates, family, job interviews. Countless times getting weird looks, snide comments, joked about, bullied, and everything under the sun. When I was quite young my parents sent me to a speech pathologist to get rid of a lisp I had but didn't bother to try and help with my stutter. I just feel confused and angry as to why they didn't continue with support when I needed it the most. I feel like shit, I just want to be free to say what I feel but can't. Usually when I feel like this I keep going back to this memory of this one mandatory public speaking assignment in year 12. I avoided working on it trying to find a way out of standing Infront of the class. I was filled with panic attacks and catastrophising every aspect of how it would go wrong. No way out of it I ended up giving speech about the life of James Earl Jones, who stuttered from a young age but despite that he went to become one of the most beloved and iconic voices in cinema. I stuttered more than I ever had throughout the speech I was sweating, shaking, tremors in my voice. But when I finished I could feel a warmth coming from the class and teacher and it was the first (and so far only) time I ever felt accepted. It was both one of my worst and best memories.