I get what you're saying, but a slightly different way of looking at it might be...Yes, there is a very deep well which is full of pain, frustration, anxiety, even a bit of shame for good measure but...while one can't fill it in or ever forget it even exists because it IS going to be with you/me all our natural days and it is, what it is. That being said, one can always put a cover over it and use that space for meaningful use instead of a hole that acts as a negative reminder. ​ I hope I'm making sense, took me over 50 years to figure it out and might take me another 50 to communicate it to others! LOL ;-)