You say you accepted your stutter but it doesn’t feel like you have based on what you’ve written. I’m not trying to bash you. I’ve been where you’ve been and I sympathize with how you’re feeling. I used to feel absolutely terrible for days, sometimes longer, anytime my stutter would mess something up. It could be a casual interaction or presenting in front of my class. I obsessively thought about it and how it messed my life up and would for the rest of it. It sucked. In my mid to late 20s I finally started really making my peace with it. I still stutter on my name, while speaking, while presenting, the only difference is I don’t obsess about how “I messed up”. I no longer try to avoid it. You mention that people treat you better when you’re fluent. Overweight people report that they’re treated far better after they lose weight. I’ve felt it. I believe it. One thing I’ll point out though is that maybe when you’re fluent you feel so much more confident and positive that you see people as treating you better. It’s possible you’re being really hard towards yourself and that is twisting your perception of how you’re perceived by others. For most of life I’ve blamed my stutter for a lot that I haven’t achieved. I don’t think that’s untrue, however, what I have learned over the years is that how I feel and my own perceptions are really important. We can be incredibly harsh towards ourselves in ways we wouldn’t be to others. Be kind to yourself. Your stutter is a part of you. It isn’t all of you.