I didn't know where else to put it...

I didn't know where else to put it... I have ocular and severe migraines, and one of my auras is stuttering, amoung other things of course. Usually first I get super "hyper" of no where and then I start stuttering. I can't control it and I almost hate it. I almost hate it. The reason being is that I used to have a friend (graduated) who lisped. I like lisps and I find them cute. Of course I only told him this after a while, because people often him asked him to say this and that with all the Ss. And they make fun of him. I actually wanted to be his friend, so I pretended his lisp wasn't there until we were close enough. Same with a stutter. I didn't have a friend with a stutter, but I tried to be friends with him but he thought I was too weird and friendly, and he graduated before I could get his Instagram. I don't know why I find lisps and stutters attractive. But I do. I knew that stutters (and lisps, but let's focus on stutters) made social interactions difficult. But I didn't know how much it did until one day, during my aura, I got hyper, and immediately started stuttering. Friends laughed at me, and people nearby started staring. I was literally jumping around, yelling, and stuttering and I couldn't control it and I felt embarrassed. It's definitely a new development, and not one I'm excited about. Especially since my aura list is long. The second time, I was on the phone. He just laughed at me, and said I sounded retarded. I still text him but I avoid calling him or answering him. And now I know why some guys got a bit dismissive when I called their stutter cute, or even offended. Happened today again mid- sentence while talking to my mom and I immediately shut up. I didn't want her to make fun of me too. Of course then the other auras followed like sporadic and uncontrollably laughter, imbalance, etc. The stuttering stopped once I couldn't understand English and I couldn't speak anymore. Of course if you can't speak, you can't stutter. I think my doctor called it Aphasia, I'm not sure. I got a taste of what it's like. I definitely would have taken this new aura is a more positive light if people hadn't made it seem so terrible. Oddly enough, I still find stutters attractive, but I've come to an understanding now. I'll keep my mouth shut next time, until I know the person well enough to explain why stutters are cute. I think I'll just take my lesson. Edit: Not that only guys have stutters, and even though I like women, I tend to date guys more.