You do you. Having empathy for others, and holding myself to a high standard are not my excuses to avoid conversation. The fact I have a severe stutter, along with a distinct aversion to contact of any type with strangers, provide me with a valid reason to avoid conversation. Engaging in such activities causes me untold levels of stress and anxiety. I should know… I pushed myself to fully integrate into society for over twenty-five years. Instead of making such interactions easier and more comfortable, forcing myself to ignore the signals my body was constantly providing only served to destroy my self-confidence, and create such an intense culture of incompetence within myself, that regardless of my level of achievement, I only focused on my areas of weakness. I’m not someone who has never achieved anything, due to their stutter. I once had a quite successful career as an aircraft mechanic in the Royal Canadian Air Force. During the eleven years I spent in that role, I received multiple awards, special commendations, and was regularly recognized as an airman who always gave his all, and commonly went above and beyond the normal call of duty. I earned the top student award in my initial trade training course, and was given my choice of any domestic posting within the RCAF. I received an award from the Director of Flight Safety, for spotting a critical defect in an aircraft which could have easily lead to a catastrophic failure of a key component during flight. This failure would have almost certainly lead to a complete loss of control, resulting in the loss of military assets and personnel. My discovery ultimately lead to the grounding of an entire helicopter fleet, and the directive that a special inspection be carried out on every aircraft of that type to ensure the defect wasn’t also present in other aircraft. During my posting to Canada’s far north, as a member of 440 Squadron in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, I received multiple Commander’s Commendations, as well as official recognition for superior efforts which played a key role in mission achievement while on operational exercises throughout the high north. Regardless of how many career high-points, or forms of recognition I received, I could only see myself as an incompetent technician who fell far short of the skill and ability of my colleagues. I had no place in such an important and critical position, and it was only a matter of time before it was discovered just how much of a fraud I was. Imposter syndrome has ultimately caused me to fail at nearly everything I’ve ever attempted, and even though I’m fully aware of the role which it plays in my self-destruction, I completely believe that my assessment of my performance was totally correct. I had no place in the RCAF, Air Canada, or anywhere else I have held a position over my lifetime. I’ve also enjoyed what most people would consider a charmed relationship with the opposite sex. I’ve never had much problem attracting women, and obtaining what I desired from them. Whether that was a relationship, or something far less permanent, I rarely fell short of success. I’m not the kind of guy you think I am. Despite enjoying what most would likely consider a very successful life, pushing myself to do these things destroyed me from the inside, ultimately turning me into a person who was left with basically no confidence. In fact, the only thing I had when I finally said enough was enough, was more stress than anyone could imagine, and an opinion of my self which was so low, it might as well have been nothing at all. Not everyone becomes a better version of themselves when they push beyond their comfort zone. It causes such an intense feeling of constant discomfort in some, that regardless of what positives it may bring, only results in the near total destruction of the individual. Success isn’t always the end all, be all. For some, it’s enough to simply be comfortable, and happy living within the limitations with which they have been dealt. The sooner others realize this fact, the better.