For me, voluntary stuttering was an extremely hard thing to let myself do. I used to get in these huge downward spirals where if I had a bad block, my thoughts would go into oblivion !and I would lose all sense of control. I asked my stuttering mentor-of-sorts, how do I get through this? And he told me voluntary stuttering. Well two years passed and I couldn't get myself to do it. I eventually had to find an SLP to help me with it. The first time I did it I had a panic attack. It brought me back to a time where I was a scared little boy. It was a big breakthrough for me. My speech was a struggle during that period, but I made discoveries. I was on a path of acceptance at that point, but I realized I was in denial of how much fear I had. Honing in on this fear has made my life a lot more enjoyable.