commentr/StutterAugust 16, 2023

Content

Hey! I'm on a PC now, so I have a better way of explaining what I meant. I can't stand explaining things through my phone's keyboard. Sorry if this is going to get a bit long. I can get quite passionate about this subject. >So essentially I just need to talk to people more and if I feel the anxiety that I don't want to talk to people then I should do it anyway. Essentially, yes. Anxiety is nothing but a voice in your head trying to scare you, and it's anxiety's job to make things feel as REAL as possible. Your fears WILL feel real - you're anxiety will make sure of that. Here's the thing, though... Once you go through it, fully, without resistance, without fighting, then you will break through the lie(s) anxiety is trying to trick you with. This is really the only way to re-wire your brain to lose anxiety over certain things in life. Anxiety is making up stories in your head, and then you respond to these (made up) stories with resistance, causing your body to go into a form of fight/flight/freeze or something of the like, depending on how scared you are. The only way to break a fear, especially fears made up by your anxiety, is by going through them, to see what's REALLY on the other end of this fear. For example: A small child suddenly developed a fear for what is under his/her bed at night. The child's anxiety is telling the child there is a monster or something scary. The child then responds to this (made up) story with fear and apprehension. The child now feels fear towards a 'thing' that doesn't actually exist. The fear is real, but the thing he/she is afraid of is not. BUT, the only way to re-wire the brain to KNOW there is NOTHING to fear, is by going TOWARDS the thing he/she fears - by gonig under the bed and to see there is literally nothing. Know what I mean? Or like, a child believing the ghost (ghot being scary thoughts) in a haunted house is real. Once the child decides to step up and be brave, and to remove the white table cloth cloak thing, it then see's it was nothing but a robotic arm underneath it. From that point on, the child can't unsee that truth - that it's just a robotic arm underneath it. It won't be afraid of that particular 'ghost' anymore. As most people on here, and pretty much everybody who stutters, say: I don't stutter when I'm alone, or when I talk to my pet. Why is this? It's due to fear. If it was truly some disease or some bad wiring in your brain, you'd also stutter when talking to yourself in the mirror, or when talking to your dog, or trees, or whatever non-human. :) As I think I said, what really helped me tremendously, was first working on overcoming my fear of speaking. Overcoming my fear of other people hearing me stutter. Learning to NOT care about the fact they might hear me stutter. I literally am at a point now, where I hardly care about it anymore. It's something I wish I had done many years ago. The less afraid you are about speaking, the less you will anticipate having to speak. The less you anticipate, the less you with think about stuttering BEFORE you have to speak. A lot of people stutter because they anticipate, and then become full of apprehension when they finally need to speak, a sort of panic response in the verbal area happens. I can really dive more deep into this, but I feel I might bore you. If not, and if you're really interested in talking more about it, just let me know. I'm open to talk more about it for sure. Hope this helps a bit!

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceCoping & AdvocacyEmotional ExperienceIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Avoidance & SubstitutionVoluntary Stuttering & ExposureAnxiety & Social JudgmentAuthenticity vs. Masking