commentr/StutterFebruary 17, 2024

Content

I have stuttered my entire life. Some adolescents who stutter do grow out of it, some don't. I did not grow out of it. I tried to do many things to become fluent, including reading aloud to myself. Reading to myself did not work for me. I would be perfectly fluent by myself but then with anyone else the anxiety was higher and that practice didn't translate. What worked for me was putting myself into difficult situations and stuttering even more than I ever would normally. It was desensitization. I met an amazing speech therapist who coached me through this. I would go into a subway and stutter on every word for longer than my normal. I can still picture looking at the greasy glass as I blocked for 20 seconds or more. The speech therapist said to me "I can't make you fluent, I don't know how. What I can do is make you comfortable stuttering so that you are comfortable speaking the way you do." I didn't understand this lesson until I was 28 when I was so anxious and was stuttering severely. It was a lot of work to put myself into these situations but man it paid off. I am 40 now and I stutter every day, I am a manager at Google and I am advancing in my career mostly due to my communication skills. Fluency isn't a requirement for good communication, being empathetic and honest are. When I say to someone "I stutter, so if you ever don't understand me just ask me to repeat. It might take a minute." That honesty builds trust so fast. I have a feeling you might be an amazing communicator which can feel incompatible with stuttering. I know I believed for the first 28 years of my life I needed to be fluent to be successful. I have never been more wrong. I also understand not wanting to take that job if you don't have the right mindset. It takes time to get comfortable, I had to build up my comfort slowly over months and years. I started extremely small and built up my confidence.

Themes

Coping & AdvocacyIdentity & DisabilitySchool & Work

Subthemes

Voluntary Stuttering & ExposureAcceptance & PrideEmployment & Career