Glad to hear it man. You're in a tough time of life right now. I went through it too. It's tough because you don't know what you don't know yet. Life experience is so much deeper than what you're describing, and it's hard to explain that without having experienced it (the phrase "you'll understand when you're older" makes perfect sense to me these days). Just know that it's not over until it's over. You'll always have another chance to prove yourself--if not to the same people, then to yourself. And that's what matters most. You've got this. Oh, and the people that might laugh at you? They're shitty people who aren't worth your time. Most adults are very accommodating. And if they're not? Fuck em! Your words and thoughts are just as valid as anyone else.