Hey, I've been there, I completely understand everything you've written. But do you know what I got from your message? That you don't even give yourself the chance to think that you'll be able to overcome this one day. Do you know when I used to stutter the most in front of shop assistants, for example? When I was certain it was going to happen. And do you know when it didn't happen? When I approached the situation calmly and confidently, believing I would succeed instead. What you need to change first and foremost, beyond the stuttering, is your state of mind. You shouldn't think that you won't be able to speak fluently in the future; instead, you should believe that, little by little, you'll get there with time. If you imagine negative scenarios happening in the future, it's like planting a seed and watering it yourself to make it grow. From the story you shared about yourself, so many positive things came through, but you didn't recognize them as such—you only used them to explain your strategies for dealing with stuttering. The first thing you absolutely need to do is change your mindset and start seeing things positively. Of course, it won't happen overnight; you need to work on it seriously. I’d recommend seeing a psychologist if you have the financial means, and also trying speech therapy. If that’s not an option, read books about stuttering, confidence, and mindset; watch YouTube videos, etc. In my life, I’ve met many happy people who stutter. One of my university professors, who also runs an entire lab, stutters, and it's quite noticeable. Yet, he's a successful and accomplished man. The priest at the church I attended as a child stutters too, and he’s very loved—despite needing to speak to large audiences often. Two of my classmates were stutterers, and one of them now lives abroad and runs his own company. My dad also stutters and works as a salesman. Do you know what made the difference for these people? They believed they could make it, and they did. They didn’t limit themselves because of their stutter. Confidence is everything; it's the key. You need to work on that first and then on your stuttering, which, in my humble opinion, can improve significantly. Keep trying, knowing that you’ll eventually succeed. If, at first, you’re unable to order for your girlfriend, she can do it for you. She will love you and choose you for all the wonderful qualities you have that are not defined by your stutter. Keep going. I truly believe you’ll get there. Don’t let these intrusive thoughts bring you down. I’ve been through this; it will be hard, but you will make it! Take care!