Ah, I see. You think that because you don't stutter by yourself or with your family, you must be doing something wrong when you stutter in other cases. We don't know exactly how stuttering works yet, but we do know it varies a lot. And that's not your fault - so it's not something you can blame yourself for. Hence, it's not something you need to solve by fixing yourself. Perhaps you think that somehow training or challenging yourself will fix things. That's hard to say, because we don't know what would work for you. Have you ever been to a speech therapist? You can work with them to figure out what you can do when you stutter. - But apart from that, it's also important to figure out why you're afraid and why you feel humiliated. It can be a hard task to arrive at a place where you don't mind stuttering, but through working on ways to manage your stutter, it's likely that you'll get there.