The delusions are yours. You're 18. I was a severe stutterer at that age. I got fluent in my mid 20s. You know as much about how things are going to turn out for you as you knew how 18 would be when you were 12. Saying you aren't to blame is BS. It isn't about blame. It's about taking steps to change. What have you tried to improve your situation? What are you doing to improve your situation? 18 isn't a magic age where people become adults. I've seen 15 yo's that are more adult than 35 yo's. Drop the victim mentality. What is it that you want? Set goals. Work towards your goals.